Like most girls I’ve thought about what I want my wedding day to be. More so who I’d like present and how comfortable my outfit can be whilst still looking elegant, than centre pieces and party favours. However, thinking about it now I’m thinking water lilies (don’t ask me how I’d achieve that) and something cool like a Rubik’s cube but with images of me and “insert name of person I’m marrying” instead of the colours. Hmm… that definitely needs more thought.

Anyway, apart from the important issues of who’ll be there and what I’ll be wearing, I’ve often thought about what I would like the ceremony to involve. Now, I’m not exactly one for big dresses and lavish ceremonies. I’ve more than once contemplated the idea of just jumping on a plane and getting married Vegas style. Think more Angelina Jolie-Billy Bob, than Britney Spears and whoever it was she married for all of five minutes. I’ve always thought that it would be nice, however, to incorporate the Filipino traditions in my wedding. 
 

I accept that one of the biggest decisions is what the newlyweds choose to wear. A lot of time goes into finding the perfect wedding dress. I’ve been through enough trauma choosing what to wear to a wedding and can only imagine how much more of a headache choosing what to get married in must be. Following these experiences, I know exactly what I want to get married in and it is certainly not traditional, but very much me.

 

Generally I think grooms get the better deal in terms of figuring out what to wear. Okay, so I know there are different kinds of suits, but compared to the drama that sometimes go with choosing a wedding dress? No contest. I think Filipino grooms have it pretty easy too. The Barong is almost a staple in terms of smart Filipino attire.

Most of the weddings I’ve attended, including one I attended this past weekend, have chosen not to go with traditional dress, for either the bride or groom. However, growing up I don’t think I thought there was anything smarter than seeing a man in their freshly pressed trousers and a Barong. Of course, the shoes have to be polished too.

I’ve been to a few Filipino weddings, both here and abroad, and my favourite part, apart from the wedding vows, is always the candle, veil, and cord section of the ceremony. This part of the actual ceremony has lasted anything from half an hour to less than ten minutes.

 

The candle represents the Light of Christ, the same light we’ve received at baptism and then again at the wedding ceremony to lead the couple in their new life together. The veil is pinned to the groom’s shoulders and over the bride’s head and shoulders. It symbolises their union and the groom’s pledge to protect his bride.

Finally, a figure of eight cord is placed over the veil that still covers the bridge and groom. The cord is a symbol of unity and infinity - the couple’s lifelong bond; where they were once two, they are now one. That’s my favourite of the three. I remember when my sister had bridesmaid duties she was heavily warned that if the cord broke or was dropped it would not foretell good things for the wedding, so it’s a very important job.

I’ve always felt it was a beautiful tradition that encompasses the feeling of the whole ceremony and is something that’s unique to our culture. There, under that veil, the two of them are joined together. From that moment they promise to spend the rest of their lives loving each other, and nothing and no one can tear them apart.

 

Other parts of Filipino weddings have evolved, and I’m not entirely sure what a traditional Filipino reception would entail anymore. Between the throwing of the bouquet and the best man speeches I think we’ve adopted many Western traditions and added our own unique Filipino twist on them, the way we do with so many things.

 

Every Filipino wedding I’ve been to though has included one other tradition that many people enjoy – the pinning of the money. This is where you can really cash in. Non-Filipinos that I’ve taken to Filipino weddings always wonder what the pins are for when they start being handed out. When they see people going up beginning to pin money on the newlyweds there’s usually an exclamation something along the lines of, ‘I’m doing that at my wedding!’

Apart from the obvious benefit, I think it’s a nice tradition. People are able to go up and say a few words to the newlyweds and also contribute a little to the wedding fund. You can normally tell the pros that’ve been to a few weddings by how deftly they’re able to pin the money. Hopefully neither of them end up looking too badly like pin cushions by the time the music stops.

I think that weddings, however we choose to celebrate them – whether the occasion be large or small, are first and foremost a celebration. It doesn’t seem to matter how much tradition you incorporate into your ceremony or how many new ideas you introduce. Whether it involves a waltz or line dancing to songs you really don’t think you could line dance to, Filipinos, more than almost anything, enjoy a good party. Even if your uncle has a little too much to drink and everything’s not as perfect as you wanted it to be because the decorations aren’t that exact shade of pink that they told you it would be. It’s the celebratory spirit shared in every Filipino wedding I’ve ever been to that unifies them.

 

I don’t know what my wedding will involve. I’m sure my ideas about what I want that day to be will change between now and then. Whenever then is. I’d like to think that it will include some, if not all, of the Filipino traditions I’ve grown up with no matter who I end up deciding to spend the rest of my life with. I think it’s only right that I start the celebration of the next part of my life by celebrating a very big part of who I am and the traditions of my culture.

Posted on 12 June 2009 by Gemma in Culture, Lifestyle

Tagged bbl/fbn, heritage, tradition